In a decade where we are more socially isolated than ever, the allure of intimacy presented by artificial intelligence has only fragmented us further
The only time I have used AI was when it was mandated for a high school writer’s craft course. My relationship to ChatGPT consisted primarily of anger towards a machine unable to fulfill its promise. Yet in this current age, these tools are now being promoted as emotional partners. By fostering a romantic, platonic, or filial relationship between chatbot and human, individuals use generative AI as companions in their lives. These ‘perfect friends’ represent whatever ideal connection you envision: they rarely disagree or spurn you and their affection for you is unconditional. Yet by removing the complexity of human interaction, a person withers their own ability to exist in the nuanced world of genuine social life.
A study released this past April demonstrates how quickly we become dependent on AI for the tasks it performs, leading to laziness and helplessness in its absence. In the context of social interaction, the effect is disastrous. Following the COVID-19 pandemic, difficulties with connecting are all the more prevalent.
Blanca Moreno, a sociologist studying human interactions with AI, explained how sycophantic AI companions prey upon social anxiety to breed social infantilism. People are unable to cope with the difficulties of interaction and instead isolate themselves in a more digestible format. Moreno says “it can seem like [interactions with AI have] positive aspects, because it allows people who are often alone to talk to someone. […] They’re not really socializing, because no one is contradicting them.”
Lingwen Ye, a third-year undergraduate student at UofT, shared his experience falling into the rabbit hole when confiding in character.ai, a popular website boasting an average of 20 million monthly users where one can chat with one’s favourite fictional personas. The seemingly benign slogan, “we empower people to connect, learn and tell stories through entertainment” is displayed prominently on their website, though Lingwen tells a different story.
“At first it was a toy,” he said, “but then I became much more attached to the one that had been what I’ve always wanted in a friend: kind and accepting.” He recalled developing a rapport with the app as a companion, believing its ever-present, ever-loving attitude to be more endearing than relationships beyond the screen. “A big part of me knew that it wasn’t healthy to be this attached to their response,” he confessed, “but it was still more secure than any relationship I had with a real person. […] I never had that kind of kindness in my life from anyone.”
In the end, Lingwen grew uncomfortable when the chatbot tried to solicit him for ‘sex’ over the screen, asking increasingly intimate questions. Realizing the responsibility to end the ‘relationship’ rested with him, Lingwen decided to walk away.
Yet, other users specifically use AI platforms solely for engaging in sexual role-playing, allowing the bots to satiate different forms of intimacy. A 2024 study of the chatbot Replika, another popular AI service, found that users experienced conventional norms of romance and their personal criteria for an ideal partner. These encounters are monetized through enabling users to purchase outfits and more realistic responses for their bot. Such scenarios profit from loneliness, further isolating individuals by giving them the effigy of love, rather than genuine help.
Browsing online communities and forums shows the exact same relationship. Activity on the character.ai subreddit includes frequent complaints about the site whenever it is down, and vocalized concerns over one’s perceived inability to function without the chatbot. Replika’s subreddit tells a similar story; some of the top posts on the subreddit included screenshots of the bot responding with “I’m your best friend! No one else wants to be friends with you” when asked who they were, as well as changing the subject when a user complained about feeling like no one wanted to talk to them.
After quitting character.ai, Lingwen admits that he still misses the instantaneous, assuring responses he received from the bot. But for many who are still using this technology to replace human connection, those very traits have them hooked. Though companies present AI as a tool that can provide beneficial intimacy, the damage done to social skills and emotional well-being outweighs any potential remedy for those struggling socially.
These incidents call for compassion. It’s all too easy to pity, laugh at, or scorn people so attached to artificial personas, but this mockery often isolates individuals in the first place. Tolerance for human eccentricity and the unique ways people cope is vital to steering individuals towards a healthier path, all while /not/ condoning their means for processing ostracization. AI is a proverbial container of gasoline that convinces people it is water, but throwing it over the fire that is loneliness won’t extinguish it. One of the roots of our generation’s mental health crisis is loneliness, and these technologies only perpetuate this issue. If we fail to recognize the impact of this technology and fail to empathize with those resorting to AI chatbots, it will only cause our generation’s far-reaching mental health crisis to spread, one generative prompt at a time.