Throughout our lives, brilliant people have pushed us to be better. Better writers, academics, athletes, actors, artists, creators, and more. Although their influence has been necessary for much of our growth, I believe it is time we put our idols to rest.
I shock myself with this statement, but I have been wrestling with this thought. Think about the pedestal we place our idols on because they are accomplished or mean something to us. We are putting humans on pedestals higher than deities, doing everything from buying products attached to their names to changing our identities to match theirs. They are perfect to us and yet, they are far from perfection. Is it even worth idolizing people when you realize how flawed they are, outside of their accomplishments? They are human after all. On a deeper note, I have been debating about humanity for quite a bit. Our common storyline is the narrative of good versus evil, with good mostly prevailing. But morality is such a fine construct. We believe certain actions are good because our society deems them so. What about the “villains” in our lives? I will not suggest that there are not truly devious acts, but don’t we all have a bit of both “good” and “evil” inside ourselves?
What does this have to do with the people we look up to? Well, all the people we admire are people who make mistakes. They suck sometimes. We are blinded by admiration and forget to acknowledge that just because we look up to someone does not mean they cannot be bad people. They can be racist, sexist, homophobic, or transphobic—the list goes on. But we all have that ability as well. We were all raised in a system designed to privilege a certain demographic, and it is our job to actively unlearn discriminatory and harmful ideologies. Good people can still have prejudice, and the first step to being better is acknowledging this.
When the media digs up people’s bigotry, the public tends to make a big deal out of it. We have to talk about it, but people are not suddenly perfect and immune to being crappy because they are in the spotlight. Human flaws and “evil” should not surprise us. We are all simply people and people are not always good. I want to point out that seeing people as flawed is not an excuse for prejudice. I simply believe that we have to hold everyone to the same moral standard, regardless of our admiration toward certain individuals. For example, famous athletes and politicians are not immune to sexual misconduct allegations and should be held accountable, no matter what their fanbases or bank accounts look like.
Although such extreme prejudices and actions are very relevant, re-humanizing the people we look up to can be a much less intense process. I love my parents and I look up to them because of their love for me and my brother and the way they care for everyone around them. I admire their intelligence and hard work, but they are still flawed people, just like I am. We will argue and sometimes my parents are not right. I can still look up to my parents and see them as humans who make mistakes. The goal is to also extend this attitude to those we do not know, to hold them accountable for their wrongdoings even if they do other amazing things or are well-known.
It is also important to note that good and accomplished people can still be re-humanized. I recently read a biography on Leonardo da Vinci by Walter Isaacson, and, despite focusing on da Vinci’s accomplishments, the book also touched on Leonardo the human. He was a gay vegetarian nerd who could not focus solely on one project to save his life. He made countless mistakes and procrastinated and did what any human does. This book was the reason I started questioning our idolatry. When we put our idols on a more human level, we are truly allowing people to be people and making their accomplishments and qualities more attainable. They are just humans, like us. At the same time, I think putting our idols on the backburner is a good way to focus more on what is important to us. Not that I think admiring people isn’t worth it, but why spend so much time looking up to others when we could spend that time making ourselves better? People are more than their accomplishments, and I think we owe it to ourselves to appreciate the mundane parts of people, as well.
I have had many idols in my life, but I feel that as you get older, you start to see the humanity and fragility of others. Idols have gotten so many of us through hardships, but they are not the perfection we believe them to be and I don’t think we’ll need them for all our lives. I think we should take admirable people with a grain of salt. We are too hard on ourselves for the same mistakes our idols make. Celebrate their accomplishments, while understanding that they do not need to be held to a different standard for their actions. You can still admire someone and disagree with them. Our idols are human beings. There is nothing wrong with being inspired and moved by someone, just remember they are made of the same flesh and blood and heart as you are.