To those who take an odyssey, five days a week
Tell me about a complicated scholar. Tell me how they wandered and were lost when they departed from the campus of Saint George. Where they went, who they met, and how they worked to bring themselves back home. Now, Domesticus, resident of Saint George, learn of their troubles. Find the beginning.
At nightfall, Commuterus set their course eastward to return to Scarborough. Arriving at the Gateway of Saint George, Commuterus unsheathed the PRESTO, a divine tablet granted to those who swear faith to the Temple of Transit Celestials (TTC). But Commuterus failed to see what Fate lay before them when a blood-red aura doused their eyes.
It was clear: all their wealth had been lost to the purchase of overpriced parchment and beverages from the merchants of Tim Horton. Those without wealth to sacrifice could not enter the TTC’s domain.
Commuterus shuddered. How could they return? They turned back to the Gateway and observed its structure. Seeing no guards and a Gateway smaller than a child, they vaulted over with a leap. It violated sacred law, but failing to return home was no better.
As Commuterus arrived on the platform, priding themself, they heard a voice booming, “Present your PRESTO!”
Commuterus turned in horror to see one of the Inspectores, who enforced the sacrifices to the TTC, staring down at them. Commuterus asked, “What for? I have sworn my faith to the TTC!”
The Inspector merely said, “No man or woman can deny an inspection!”
Commuterus reached for their pocket when a glint appeared in their eyes. They looked to the Inspector and said, “I am no man! And I am no woman! How dare you force me into these roles?” The Inspector, fearful of being banished from his post for this cruel act, apologized and scurried off just as a carriage pulled in.
But while Commuterus had caught the Inspector’s wrongdoing, they failed to note their own. In the carriage, they heard the voice of Intercomena, a goddess of the TTC, who announced the upcoming Gateways to guide travellers. However, she only brought dread to Commuterus as they heard her voice ring out: “Our next Gateway is Spadina. Gateway of Spadina.”
Commuterus wished to cry oceans of tears. They had foolishly guided themself to a westward carriage, taking them further from home. At the Gateway of Spadina, they rushed to the eastward carriage, but it was too late. The carriage had departed, with the next not arriving for long. Commuterus’ eyes sagged from the disarray. They wondered, “Who can continue to burden me?”
Several answers came forth. A nearby woman was berating her husband for crashing their chariot. Commuterus attempted to endure this, but soon ran off. However, trouble struck again when they stumbled upon a cloaked figure who turned to them, enraged. “Who imposed a pest like you to spoil my day? Stay over there, not near me, or you can get lost!”
Commuterus shouted, “And get lost, I shall!” as they dashed for the carriage, which had finally arrived.
As they began to pass Gateways, it seemed peace had arrived, but suddenly, the voice of the carriage’s driver echoed: “An emergency has befallen us! You all must depart at the next Gateway and take a chariot, or wait until the delay clears!”
The choice was grim, but upon observing the stars, they realized midnight was approaching. So, Commuterus stepped into the chariot, suffocated between a couple in an intimate embrace and a stranger whose fingers disappeared beneath their garments.
Upon reaching the next Gateway, Commuterus descended onto the platform, but just as they boarded the next carriage, they overheard an Inspector state, “How sorry I feel for these travellers! The emergency was resolved seconds after they left. If only they had waited…”
Commuterus sobbed in agony. The misdirections. The commotions. The cruelties. The delays. All had shattered their spirit. They prayed that someday they would live on the campus, the horrors of travel never to befall them.
Yet, as the Creek of Taylor appeared, their tears of agony turned to tears of joy. The carriage halted, and Commuterus took a breath of fresh air. They were home.
Commuterus stepped outside…
…Only to have their foot trapped between the carriage doors.