This was my first year in Toronto. The previous year I had been at an international school in Hamilton, Ontario, populated with people coming from the various expanses of the globe, and it’s safe to say that we all felt sheltered there. There was a constant feeling when walking down the halls that we were not always aware that we were living in a foreign country, but the differences between us were what made us feel at home. The idea of a multicultural and multiethnic mix of people in cohabitation with each other was what I assumed would sum up my first year at the University of Toronto.
Life at UofT has turned out to be one of the most eye-opening learning experiences of my life, quite different from the melting pot of different cultures and races that I expected. A city proclaimed to be one of the biggest cultural hubs of North America, it certainly lacks a certain cohesion of different nationalities with a harmonious understanding of differences. Yes, there are events such as University of Toronto’s “International Week” that showcase the vast arrays of cultures that thrive around us, mixed with rich experiences and traditions outside our limited horizon and norms. In reality, these demonstrations of a “United Nations” rarely educate others on the true essence, whether positive or negative, of these civilizations and only satisfy the search for something “exotic” and “colorful.”
Coming to Canada from places rich in distinctive norms, with cultural behaviors and attributes that easily define you wherever you go, sometimes it feels like life would be a whole lot easier if we decided to let go of these attributes and blend in with the Canadian majority. Being an international student, one is constantly stuck in a conflicted middle ground of trying to stay true to your home country and representative of the things you refuse to forget about said country, and adopting the personality, including the language and mannerisms, of an average Westerner in order to make life and interactions with others less awkward. Let’s just say, the usual “Sorry, could you say that again?” or “What did you say?” tend to become tiring at times. I can recall numerous conversations I’ve had with domestic students in my normal conversational tone that took turns downhill because of lags in sentence pick-ups. Those conversations were immediately revived once I diverted to the more uncomplicated “North American English”. I can assure you both parties were still speaking the same English language. So, many international students basically live dual personalities, with the intent to appease the discomfort of others but still wanting to keep our former personas as alive as possible. It should not be deemed necessary for us to adopt your culture and its attributes, at the expense of our own, in order for you to feel fully comfortable and relaxed around us. We should be more accepting of our differences, and not promote the idea that we should all be clones of one another.
As international students in Canada, there is also a constant need to falsify the usual stereotypes. That is, you come in as a representation of your country, and however you act or behave is what others would assume is the norm from your country—a country they have heard little or only negative news about. I am from Nigeria, a country in Africa, so that means whenever I engage in a new conversation with a typical Western other, the usual questions come up: “Wow; you speak English so well, have you lived there all your life?” “How is life over there?” Why are there quick assumptions that because someone is from Africa, they must speak in broken sentences, fail to enunciate their words properly, or be in constant search of the appropriate words amid sentences, leaving behind awkward pauses? Africa is a massive continent filled with many countries that have such different ethnic groups within each of them, with English and French the most widely used means of communication. There is a definite possibility that international students may not know how to speak “North American English” properly and suffer from such problems as outlined, but it should be considered appropriate to give someone who has arrived from a foreign place the certain benefit of the doubt before labelling them as a struggling novice.
Jiamin Shi, a first year student from China, discloses further on the constant battle with language barriers. “One issue is how to adapt to a new country, and the other one is language,” says Jiamin. “Most international students are away from their parents, so some of them have a strong desire to find a sense of belonging in this new country. For example, Chinese international students are very likely to be friends with people who share a similar background with them. As a result, there is a high probability that they will form a small group and mainly live in that small group. Since they speak their mother language most of the time, the language problem may always exist.”
International students face ignorant assumptions on a daily basis. You may think we all come from a completely alternate way of living, where you think things are very dissimilar from life here. Put simply, it is usually Third World countries that bear the brunt of such misplaced judgments. These nations have cities and metropolitan areas growing each and every day, as well regions that continue to carry out the traditional life—with many cities that equal the metropolitan status of your beloved Toronto. Our lives are not so different from yours. If you wish to truly know more about the place an international student is coming from, ask them about their beautiful country. It would be beneficial to hear about the idea of “home” from the point of view of an individual who has knowledge of life outside their immediate expanse, rather than maintaining an ignorant belief in overplayed images of such countries in mainstream media.
When I asked Amina Dansule, a first year student from Nigeria, what she felt about how some have decided to accept the situations best, she had some important points. “For international students, you can never really be prepared for what life will throw at you when moving to a new country. Arriving weeks ahead, signing up for the international student orientations, watch movies or documentaries about the country, your first time here will still be different,” says Amina. “Being here means we have to find a balance between keeping true to ourselves or assimilating. It may prevent you from making friends the way you’d have liked to because some don’t care enough to understand or try to understand, but hopefully you’ll find your people and it won’t be such a bad experience.”
If you find yourself in discussion with an International student, and you truly yearn to learn more about their background and their home. It is necessary to see this person not as an exotic anomaly, but rather as a new opportunity for a friendship—as you would see any other person. Again, while many would have no problem telling you all you need to know about their countries, it would be refreshing to not hear the usual run of the mill questions of how different life is over there, but rather, engage in a more challenging and open-minded approach, displaying an understanding, adjusted, and informed outlook.
International students face a number of difficulties on a day-to-day basis. While our foreign tastes may seem alluring and fascinating, it would be more meaningful if you were able to understand that there are certain pains that come with our disparities in culture and civilization.
So yes, inquire, learn, and digest the cultures and variations of life in the countries these students journeyed from, but remember to learn about the actual person beneath all those layers after you have taken your fill.
Good one, Little Oshodi! Life can get jumbled up trying to maintain two different personalities. As proud as one is of their heritage, like you said, it just makes life easier when you roll your R’s and soften your T’s sometimes just to get through a conversation. Oh well, the struggle continues.