As another summer ends and the sights, sounds, and smells of autumn begin to settle, I think of a puzzling question that returns to me year after year. No, not: Why not squash instead of pumpkin spice? Not the query of why we enjoy something as pedestrian as turkey when we could be eating rabbit or pheasant. The question that befuddles me annually, dear reader is… WHERE ARE ALL THE ROCKS THAT LOOK LIKE SPEAKERS?!? Yes, you heard me correctly. I know what you’re thinking: “Rocks that look like speakers? Well, that’s simply preposterous!” This is where you’re wrong, dear reader.
Landscaping has been a practice among humans for thousands of years, with rocks being the centre of both celebration and encapsulation. Today, landscaping has taken on a new form of entertainment. You guessed it, S-O-U-N-D!!!! Any plebeian can go into their local Radio Shack, Best Buy, or Costco and find a plethora of speakers designed and engineered to imitate the holiest form of THE ROCK. Landscapers now overuse what was once the phenomena of a rock-like speaker. Go to any summer barbeque or puddle jumping party, and watch as not one person is amazed by the sound being emitted from the once awe-inspiring fake boulder. Pitiful. If humankind can create a rock-like speaker why can’t we create a speaker-like rock?
Picture yourself enjoying a meal in your brother-in-law’s backyard. You see something in the distance. At first you believe it is a simple speaker, mistakenly placed in the backyard, perhaps as a joke. You mention it to your brother-in-law and suddenly you are dumbfounded to learn it is not a speaker after all, BUT A ROCK DISGUISED AS A SPEAKER!!!! You are shocked! You are amazed! You are aliiiiiveeee!!!!!!!!!!
Now you understand my query and must join me in my quest to find the perfect speaker-like rock!!! If interested please email firstname.lastname@example.org and join us in our sound revolution!!