peers hate him

Reportedly, on March 29th, 2017, a student removed his pair of Blundstones in the EJ Pratt Library. Those around him served dirty looks.


The student, who will remain unnamed, is double majoring in Economics and Political Science and believes he “deserves a break.” The student claims “nobody said anything to me so I’m sure they don’t mind.”


In fact, several students claimed that the stench of feet was not the only distracting thing about this one student: “His music was also super loud. I tried to get his attention by coughing, but he was playing a Father John Misty song so loud from his headphones that you could hear it across the library probably. It just seemed hopeless,” one student in the library claims.


Other students contested on behalf of the shoeless student. “The library says no food or drink; I don’t get why anyone would care if someone took their shoes off.” The consulted student was also caught with his shoes off in Robarts Library in the previous month.


Librarians and student employees feel that the existing rules have been suitable, but new ideologies have challenged their basic understandings of library etiquette. A librarian at EJ Pratt claims “I did not ever think I would have to tell a student to put his shoes back on in a public space.”


The well-used, brown, faded Blundstones lay several feet underneath and away from the student’s cubicle, perpetrating the space of another student studying. The student’s shoe choice portrays him as a cool, carefree guy: so relaxed, he doesn’t have to deal with laces. “They’re so easy to slip on and off. Definitely my go-to shoe,” the shoeless student claims.


One victim of the shoeless crime claims to be in the same political science class as the shoeless student. “He sits at the front and answers every single one of the prof’s questions with a thought of his own, never really answering the question. I guess it kind of makes sense why he took his shoes off.”


The shoeless student reportedly kept rolling his ankles and flexing his feet. The student was wearing mismatched red and black socks. He also reportedly would bounce his knee when intensely reading his Noam Chomsky text.


The Strand will be following this story as it unfolds. Specific focus will be given to library rules and the enforcement of etiquette, the Political Science and Economics departments, Blundstones Co., as well as student groups on campus that promote freedom of rights.