Stranded Presents The Live Off Star Wars™ Challenge

Viral challenges: say what you want about thousands of people setting fire to their chests or drinking Smirnoff Ice, we can all agree we ache for more. They form some of our most lasting memories that shape who we become years later, no one will deny that. Viral challenges are a true way to establish identity and participate in a global conversation, since briefly ruining your kids’ day for the chance to be recognized by Jimmy Kimmel can be argued as a type of conversation in your fourth year Philosophy seminar. The only question is how to start your own.

Which bring us to the “Live Off Star Wars™” Challenge, presented by Stranded. The basic premise is this: for one month you must buy and consume products connected in some way to Star Wars and the upcoming release of Star Wars – The Force Awakens exclusively. It sounds trickier than it is, I assure you. I simply started drafting an email to Disney about the idea, and as soon as I typed the words “viral marketing” a fleet of Millennium Falcon drones delivered a huge load of goods right to my door! “Now this is podracing,” I shouted to no one in particular. Here’s how an average day plays out once you commit to the challenge.

So I wake up. I’m in a bed shaped like the Millennium Falcon cockpit and I’m in Darth Maul pajamas. I turn off my Jedi training ball alarm clock and head to the kitchen, where I pour of bowl of Shreddies from a box with new character Captain Phasma on it. No milk, but that’s okay; I can use coffee creamer instead and the nutrition gap can be made up by Star Wars™ gummie vitamins. I check my phone; my network is Bell, so all my phone and internet use is doable as they have been using Star Wars™ images in their advertising. Most utilities have a workaround; for water just drink from an R2D2 water bottle or glass and use a Darth Vader showerhead, for transit just take buses with Bell Star Wars™ ads on the side. I also outfitted my bathroom with tiling that resembles the Death Star surface  and a variety of towels. I check my other Star Wars™ clock: time for class!

Now, you’re probably thinking: how do I attend UofT under the rules? Well, the UofT Book Store does sell a Star Wars™ Moleskine Pocket Agenda, and there are multiple Cinema Studies courses in which the films are examined. It’s got nearly as much in common with Star Wars™ as Bell does, so I figure what the hey! [To other challenge takers: please try to ensure your place of study or business is in some way connected to Star Wars™.] All my notes are taken by hand in that agenda or on my HP Star Wars™ Special Edition laptop. You could say I was really becoming one with the force! I grab lunch at the Subway in Robarts, where I can get a Force Awakens tote bag. After class and lunch I’m eager to procrastinate instead of studying (who isn’t amirite). I try to stick to websites with either Star Wars™ advertising or articles about Star Wars™, so my browsing habits are essentially unchanged. After this I’m in the home stretch, as it’s back home. I figure I’ll walk so I lay down two Star Wars™ carpets, moving the one I’m not standing on in front of the one I am standing on, behaving as if the ground is made of lava (or should I say Mustafar lava). I brush my teeth and hit the hay.

I cannot recommend this challenge enough. Sure you have to make a couple sacrifices, mainly in the field of nutrition and “normal” human interaction (I also refuse to talk about anything but Star Wars™, didn’t lose too many friends and some wanted to hang out with me even more). It’s definitely only feasible for a month or so; can you imagine committing to this for years? But in its own way it’s also comforting; I don’t have to think about what I’ll want or need in any serious way, I just get whatever has something recognizably Star Wars™ on it. Most of the stuff is clearly aimed at children, but there’s enough of a cottage industry of Star Wars™ merchandise for adults that I get by. I crack open my Star Wars™ beer with my Star Wars™ bottle opener. I kick back on my Chewbacca sofa and play some Battlefront on my PS4I’m never not thinking about Star Wars™.

What more could a geek want?

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