Photos | Hana Nikčević

A Review of the Northrop Frye Statue

The Northrop Frye statue, though only erected in 2012, has become a permanent staple of the modern Victoria College campus: the parmesan cheese to an otherwise perfectly dressed Caesar salad. Amongst all of the elegantly draped vinery, Northrop sits peacefully aback, reflecting on the world around him as he writes. While you may not know Northrop personally, his bench always beckons with invitation, perpetuating the idea that you are never truly alone at Victoria College, not unlike the croutons of a mid-Autumn Caesar salad.  

Though some may critique him for his lack of lap-sitting ability, the open posture he commands always indicates his engagement in your endless conversations, not dissimilar to your discussions with the wait staff at East Side Mario’s: granting them permission to grind fresh peppercorns onto your already vibrant Caesar salad. Even amongst the cordial, auburn façade of Emmanuel, Northrop’s bronze glow continues to occupy the limelight. While sitting on and kissing Northrop may not be as easy or comfortable as other statues, like say the Wall Street Bull, he more than makes up for it with his high dexterity in “gram” worthy selfies, just like those of your homemade Caesar salad that you prepared with lemon, egg yolk, romaine lettuce, and blended anchovies – only to be topped with a patient sprinkling of high sodium bacon bits. Oh man, do I love…  

The statue, as the year goes on, tends to suffer a loss in popularity as Northrop’s otherwise pleasantly cool skin, as cool as fresh romaine lettuce, becomes a frigid barrier to human embrace, like iceberg lettuce – completely unfit for a pepperoncini-laced Caesar salad. The pepperoncinis are an excellent addition to your Caesar salad because they add a level of spice, but simultaneously match the level of acidity and flavour brought about by the lemons and the anchovies. When preparing your Caesar salad always remember to wash your lettuce before use, as you should with all your ingredients, but also remember to dry your lettuce. NEVER FORGET TO DRY YOUR LETTUCE!

Look, not all of us here at The Strand get glamour pieces. Sometimes we’re delegated to review a static metal figure because that’s what we were “approved” to do. But sometimes I like to dream, to dream of a world where a man can write about the joy brought to him by his own Caesar salad recipe, which may or may not be heavily influenced by Martha Stewart’s own Caesar salad recipe. Maybe this man will finally learn to write about a topic that doesn’t always require capitalization on mention. The point is, I love Caesar salads, there, I said it. Now you can sit in your Café chair, and sip your store-bought coffee from your own space-cylinder mug and judge me, or you can join me for a crisp, November Caesar salad.  

 

Northrop Frye Statue: 58/64 Caesar Salads