Author: Wilfred Moeschter

Robarts Library exposed as alien spacecraft

Students distraught   Robarts Library was a signature of Toronto, featuring in film and television, and was widely considered an icon of Brutalist architecture. Nobody was prepared for last week, when Robarts and the adjoined Thomas Fisher Rare Books Library just kind of decided to leave, and blasted off into the sky. It’s become more and more clear that the library was actually some sort of alien vessel. Here are some eyewitness accounts from students who witnessed Robarts’s departure: Thomas – 2nd year: “I’ve been saying that Robarts is one of those big robot things from the newest Zelda game since March. Turns out that in the air, it’s surprisingly much more aerodynamic than it looks. I always assumed that no human could design something so hideous, so this alien theory checks out to me.” Leo – 3rd year: “I’ve studied there for two years, and I haven’t yet found an ugly enough place to go instead. I’ve been trying the basement of the Health Sciences building but it just isn’t the same. I can’t go back to my bedroom—something about the natural light coming in through my window and the relative clearness of the air really puts me off.” Molly – 3rd year: “Nobody knew what those bizarre air-lock looking things on the sides of the building were. It turns out that they were exactly that. To be honest, I’m not even surprised. How could we have been so blind?” Alex – 2nd year: “There was always...

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Review: Rogue One

Before you watch this movie, watch Star Wars: Episode IV – A New Hope, or at least fill yourself in on the events from that movie. If you don’t, you won’t enjoy Rogue One nearly as much as you should, and then you’d be paying money and spending two hours on an experience that you could have improved. Rogue One tells the story of Jyn Erso, the daughter of an Imperial engineer, who eventually becomes embroiled in a mission to destroy the Death Star, a weapon which the Empire can use to destroy entire planets. The battle scenes are endless and harrowing, you can attach yourself to the main characters, and the ending was genuinely heartbreaking. In comparison to Mark Hamill’s wooden acting, the entire cast deserves Oscar nominations. Rogue One was apparently 18 times more expensive to make than Star Wars and it’s safe to say that with better acting, cinematography, and effects, the emotional impact is multiplied accordingly. The second half isn’t a Star Wars movie as much as it is a war movie, and director Gareth Edwards really didn’t skimp on anything. The third act literally features a beach invasion scene with the outnumbered Rebels battling evil Imperial forces, and gives Saving Private Ryan a real run for its money! Like The Force Awakens, the experience is improved with classy throwbacks to the original. The scenes inside Rebel spaceship cockpits are deliberately made...

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