Author: Leora Nash

Why Every Garden Needs, no, DESERVES Rocks That Look Like Speakers

As another summer ends and the sights, sounds, and smells of autumn begin to settle, I think of a puzzling question  that returns to me year after year. No, not: Why not squash instead of pumpkin spice? Not the query of why we enjoy something as pedestrian as turkey when we could be eating rabbit or pheasant. The question that befuddles me annually, dear reader is… WHERE ARE ALL THE ROCKS THAT LOOK LIKE SPEAKERS?!? Yes, you heard me correctly. I know what you’re thinking: “Rocks that look like speakers? Well, that’s simply preposterous!” This is where you’re wrong, dear reader.   Landscaping has been a practice among humans for thousands of years, with rocks being the centre of both celebration and encapsulation. Today, landscaping has taken on a new form of entertainment. You guessed it, S-O-U-N-D!!!! Any plebeian can go into their local Radio Shack, Best Buy, or Costco and find a plethora of speakers designed and engineered to imitate the holiest form of THE ROCK. Landscapers now overuse what was once the phenomena of a rock-like speaker. Go to any summer barbeque or puddle jumping party, and watch as not one person is amazed by the sound being emitted from the once awe-inspiring fake boulder. Pitiful. If humankind can create a rock-like speaker why can’t we create a speaker-like rock?   Picture yourself enjoying a meal in your brother-in-law’s backyard. You see something in the distance. At first you believe it is a simple speaker, mistakenly placed...

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It’s a miracle!!!1!11

Lost boy emerges from Robarts stacks as jaded poli-sci student Students, faculty, and staff alike were shocked late Thursday night when a young man reported missing three years ago emerged from the twelfth floor of Robarts Library unharmed and in good physical health. Mark Green, who was reported missing by his high school guidance counsellor after a campus tour gone awry in October 2014, was found in-between the seventeenth to eighteenth-century philosophy volumes, reading and furiously scribbling on sheets of scrap paper. Not to be confused with Jessica Goldman, who resurfaced from the Sidney Smith basement earlier this year...

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