Author: Leo Morgenstern

I Decided Not to Change My Name to Jennifer Lopez

The beginning of university is often a time of change for many people. We’re young, we’re discovering new things about ourselves, and we’re getting ready to take on the world. Change is only natural, but one change was too much for me. When I came to Vic, I decided not to change my name to Jennifer Lopez and I stand by that decision. Here’s why: I would have to get a new bank card because my current account is not under the name Jennifer Lopez. If Aliens ever come to Earth and abduct all people named Jennifer Lopez, I will be safe. Whenever I receive a piece of mail addressed to Jennifer Lopez, I will know it is not for me and that the mailman has made a mistake. My orthopedic surgeon is named Jarnifer Lopez, and I don’t want to be confused with her. I will probably never be asked to perform at the Grammy Awards, which is a good thing because I am not prepared. The email address is...

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