Author: Alexandra Scandolo

It happened to me

It happened to me I’ve become the parody of student journo and this is My Story Alexandra Scandolo The nostalgia you develop in the midst of finishing your undergraduate degree is very real—let me tell you. I keep running my hands along the sides of railings in Old Vic and pausing in the middle of the stairs at Sid Smith, thinking about how this will be the last of this, or the last of that. This is one of those moments; the last issue of The Strand’s 59th volume. I’m writing this with one hand pressed firmly on the iMac...

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Hypercritical review of Drake’s More Life

From the perspective of a dude who interrupted me and my friends at a bar Illustration by Lynn Hong You know, I just don’t get excited about music anymore. It seems like More Life is the only album that will really matter for the next two to three weeks, right? Everyone’s talking about it day and night but, you know what, it didn’t really do it for me. Anyways, what did you say your name was again? I mean, it’s interesting how it’s a playlist. Not an album or a mixtape, but a playlist. Like what makes it so different, Aubrey?...

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An open letter to 40-year-olds with jobs

 I would like to have your job—whether you like it or not! Please and thank you. Hey 40-year olds with jobs, one question: how’d you get that job? Now that I’m graduating, I just want you to know that I’m coming for ya. I’m bright-eyed and naive, willing to buy coffee for hire. I’m soooooo much cheaper than you! I heard you don’t want to retire. That’s nice, but that’s not going to work for me, unfortunately. Think about how much work I’ll do for so much less pay than you! Doesn’t that scare you a bit! It should—I’m going to take your job right after June 2017. I’m planning on moving back into my parents’ house this summer. It’s kind of a bummer to tell acquaintances when they ask, “hey, what’s up?” and I interpret it as a chance to mention my grand “Get Rich Slowly By The Time I’m 55” plan. I’m gonna get to live rent-free in the basement while my parents cook me everything; think of how much money I’m gonna save and how little my resume will have improved by the time September rolls around! It’s nice that I can so easily get a job in this economy—like you did when you were 20, current 40-year-olds with steady salaries. For instance, if I just wanted a cool job—like a secretary, a bread-maker, a doctor—all I have to do is put “typing” on my...

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Tinder art bro reportedly “a complete asshole”

Local cool and hot woman left deleting phone conversations and unfollowing accounts of a man she met on the dating app because “she honestly just like, doesn’t understand what could have even happened” The teens (read: grown ass adults) have been engaging in some emotionally damaging dating tactics. It’s called Ghosting—never heard of Ghosting? Congratulations on pretending like you’ve never downloaded dating app/nightmare Silicon Valley project Tinder. This fucking dumpster fire of an app not only crashes all the time, but it will let you build a contrived relationship with someone who will leave you high, dry, and screaming...

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