A Growing List of Things that are happening to me now that I’m Vegan

By / / Stranded
  • January 1st, 2017: I developed an affinity for the colour green.
  • January 2nd, 2017: My IBS symptoms have improved.
  • January 4th, 2017: I have to offer up a human sacrifice once every fortnight.
  • January 7th, 2017: I can only walk by the light of the moon.
  • January 8­­­th, 2017: I hate almost everyone is who isn’t a vegan—and also most people who are.
  • January 9th, 2017: Better skin.
  • January 11th, 2017: Lost all my fingernails but grew new and better ones (a perk).
  • January 12th, 2017: I am not able to eat unless I tweet about it.
  • January 13th, 2017: I ignore all current events that aren’t directly related to animal rights, soy, beans, or bees.
  • January 15th, 2017: Because of this, I do not know who won the election(s), what year it is, or even what country I am in.

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3 thoughts on “A Growing List of Things that are happening to me now that I’m Vegan”

  1. KaD

    In other words, nothing positive has come from you being vegan. Think that through a little.
    https://authoritynutrition.com/top-5-reasons-why-vegan-diets-are-a-terrible-idea/
    http://www.berkeley.edu/news/media/releases/99legacy/6-14-1999a.html
    http://www.foxnews.com/story/2008/09/15/vegetable-only-diet-ups-risk-for-brain-shrinkage.html
    http://www.womenshealthmag.com/food/side-effects-of-vegetarianism
    http://www.msn.com/en-us/foodanddrink/foodculture/new-study-argues-vegetarianism-isn%E2%80%99t-as-earth-friendly-as-people-think/ar-BBnDwkT?li=BBnb7Kw&ocid=iehp
    http://www.science20.com/news_articles/vegetarians_found_to_have_more_cancer_allergies_and_mental_health_disorders-133332
    https://munchies.vice.com/articles/new-research-says-vegetarian-diets-could-actually-be-worse-for-the-planet
    http://www.molonlabemedia.com/2016/04/29/vegetarians-unhealthy-mentally-disturbed/
    http://www.refinery29.com/2016/04/108536/vegetarian-diet-changing-genetic-mutation-study
    http://www.dailymail.co.uk/health/article-3515293/Vegetarian-diet-raises-risk-heart-disease-cancer.html
    http://cheflynda.com/2015/10/dangers-of-vegan-vegetarian-diets/
    http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/health/687996.stm
    http://highsteaks.com/homo-carnivorus-what-we-are-designed-to-eat-barry-groves/

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